Happy Passover.

My mom came down with the flu last Saturday, and she is just now getting over it. Because she was sick, she couldn't cook for Passover Seder that was last night. So she called my step-grandmother, Helen, to ask her to prepare and host the seder. Helen accepted and began cooking on Tuesday, and she cooked all day yesterday. My mom and stepdad were sick and didn't want to get everyone else sick, so they stayed home, and all of us kids had a lovely Seder with Helen and Laurie (aka Nana and Papa). I think it was the least negatively-eventful Seder we have ever had. There is always so much drama when we do family things, but the tension is lower when my Mom isn't there. I'm actually really glad of this, because Jeremy came with me. I really don't want him to see my mother explode or even just be irritable. At the last minute Helen and I finished cooking all the food, everybody showed up, we sat down, we did the service, and we ate dinner. Now that Rachael and Joey are growing up, we could have some pleasantly mature conversation (well, as mature as Papa could muster :)...).

The only problem that occured all night was when I had to put my foot down with Jeremy and spend several minutes convincing him that he was worrying about nothing. He was worried that he would make a bad impression with my grandparents by exposing his tatoo on his R forearm, because he forgot to wear a long sleeved shirt. He was going to buy an Ace bandage from the grocery store and wrap his arm so that they wouldn't see the tatoo. I thought it was silly, unnecessary, and would draw more attention to his arm than the tatoo would. He said that it was giving him a lot of anxiety and he was afraid that he would have a panic attack. But what good does it do him to pander to his anxiety and low self-esteem? The nature of this tatoo is not something that will cause people to think negatively of him. And facing the chance that people will see his tatoo and have it NOT affect their opinion of him will do more good for him. I pointed out that he hid the tatoo from me for a long time, and when I found out about it, it changed nothing. So I told him at the grocery store that I did not want him to buy the Ace bandage, and to just let his tatoo show. He said ok, because he wants to make me happy. And everything turned out ok at dinner, and he did not have a panic attack. I didn't yell, and I don't think I was mean, but I was foreceful. I was afraid that he would be mad at me after this argument, but he said he wasn't, and I just really want him to stop being so hard on himself. I know that his self-esteem is sometimes lacking and he has anxiety issues. I am not going into this relationship to change him, and I accept him the way he is, even if this doesn't change, but I would like it to change. I feel like it is my job to support his esteem and make him feel better about himself. And he just doesn't seem to know how great he is and how much he magnifies his flaws in his mind. Do you think it's wrong of me to push him to stop giving in to his anxiety? Am I totally off base? I don't want to be one of those over-bearing women like my mom.

I also need to know: Is it weird that I am so totally in love with him so soon? I feel like I have always had him in my life, and I can't imagine it without him anymore. In reality, not counting our first date last summer and all the time in between dates 1 and 2, we have only been dating for 2 months and 1 week. I have experienced infatuation. And I don't think this is infatuation, but I could be wrong. I have never had so much fun with one person doing anything and everything. I doesn't matter what we do together, it turns into an adventure. And I laugh all the time. We make silly faces and voices and think nothing of it. I have no emotional modesty with him. And I trust him completely. He gives me everything I have missed from every other major relationship, including with friends and family. I am the most beautiful, intelligent, and caring woman in the world when he is near me. And last night we had a very earnest conversation that for the first time included phrases like "when we get married," and "our kids." We talk about things we want to do together far off in the future. But it has only been two months. Am I crazy, or is this what it feels like to find your soulmate? Opinions please...and be honest.