Hi, my name is Liz, and I am a Jeremy-holic...
I am addicted. It's bad. When I take my drug, I have this constant euphoric state. I walk around laughing and smiling and cracking jokes. I am never home, and I tend to neglect my poor kitties. It's a strange sort of mania. The world is exciting and there are endless things to do.
When my drug is removed from me, I go into withdrawal. I am known to babble incessantly about incoherent subjects: "This one time Jeremy..." "And when Jeremy did this..." I become withdrawn from reality and I tend to slip into my own little world. I annoy people with talk of all the wonderful things that Jeremy does for me. And I become strangely attached to my text messaging. Do they make a Methadone for this?
I find myself spending more and more time with Jeremy and his family. When this whole thing started, I was seeing him on Friday evenings. Then we started doing things on Saturdays too. All day Saturday and into the evening. Then we realized that we start to go crazy after more than 3 days apart, so we started hanging out on Monday or Tuesday after I get off work. And this week we started with Thursday after he gets out of class. And I miss him terribly when we are apart. Four days a week is not enough. I want more. I always have fun. I am never lonely or bored. I feel loved. Jeremy tells me everyday that he adores me.
We have been helping his mother with planning for his brother's wedding, specifically the "Groom's brunch" which is in place of the rehearsal dinner. Jeremy's mom Shari is getting a cake for it that is going to be her idea of what a wedding cake should be, since she hates the cake that they picked out. Since we are helping with all of this, we went with her for a cake testing this weekend. I feel like I am planning my 0wn wedding. Jeremy and I keep looking at things that we want and going through magazines and stuff. And Shari ordered a cake for my birthday that is over a month away. So that means they are throwing a birthday party for me or something. I haven't had a birthday party in years, and I don't really want one. I guess growing up with three birthdays in two weeks has caused me to not really see my birthday as a big deal. Or maybe it's just weird that my boyfriend-of-four-months' family is making a bigger deal of and is willing to plan for my birthday when my own family won't. Food for though.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Thursday, April 20, 2006
I am supposed to be getting a raise at work. Actually I am supposed to be getting two raises. The first one should be coming by the end of April, with back pay for the raise to the first of March. That one is due to an increase in the overall payscale that they put in place with the start of the last academy, but they have not yet applied to the current field crews. That one will be super, but I am looking forward to the other pay raise. We so far have no idea yet when this pay raise will happen, but MedStar is buzzing with rumors. It is supposed to be an across the board $2 raise to help keep employees from leaving to take other higher paying jobs in the area. Basically, a morale raise...and boy do we need it. When this first raise hits, I can afford to not work OT every pay period. When the second one hits, I will actually have extra money. Woo hoo.
I got a new diswasher yesterday. My old one stopped actually cleaning my dishes, which isn't surprising, considering it was older than me. So I came home from work last night to find a new dishwasher in the kitchen, Foam walking around anxiously and meowing, and no Willow. No Willow anywhere in my apartment. No Willow anywhere that I could find outside of the apartment. What kind of jerk would let out a cat from an apt they are doing maintenance on and not at least try to catch the cat or TELL THE TENNANT! I walked around the complex for almost an hour, in the rain, calling for her and shaking her can of treats. No Willow. So I went to bed crying, Foam walked around the living room crying, and I prayed that she would be safe and I would find her. I woke up for no reason early in the morning, and before I could fall back asleep, I heard a meow. It wasn't Foam. I jumped up, ran to the door, and there was Willow. She ran back inside and immediately went under the bed. So I fell back asleep and slept for 4 more hours. When I woke up, Foam was apparently mad at Willow, because he kept following her around and hissing at her, and Foamy doesn't hiss. I think he was as scared as I was. I need to get one of those microchips for both of them. Actually, I need a chip that has a GPS tracker. I want to be able to log onto a website and see where my cat is. That would make me feel better. I could log on from work and see my kitty walking around my apartment. Someone please invent this.
I got a new diswasher yesterday. My old one stopped actually cleaning my dishes, which isn't surprising, considering it was older than me. So I came home from work last night to find a new dishwasher in the kitchen, Foam walking around anxiously and meowing, and no Willow. No Willow anywhere in my apartment. No Willow anywhere that I could find outside of the apartment. What kind of jerk would let out a cat from an apt they are doing maintenance on and not at least try to catch the cat or TELL THE TENNANT! I walked around the complex for almost an hour, in the rain, calling for her and shaking her can of treats. No Willow. So I went to bed crying, Foam walked around the living room crying, and I prayed that she would be safe and I would find her. I woke up for no reason early in the morning, and before I could fall back asleep, I heard a meow. It wasn't Foam. I jumped up, ran to the door, and there was Willow. She ran back inside and immediately went under the bed. So I fell back asleep and slept for 4 more hours. When I woke up, Foam was apparently mad at Willow, because he kept following her around and hissing at her, and Foamy doesn't hiss. I think he was as scared as I was. I need to get one of those microchips for both of them. Actually, I need a chip that has a GPS tracker. I want to be able to log onto a website and see where my cat is. That would make me feel better. I could log on from work and see my kitty walking around my apartment. Someone please invent this.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Happy Passover.
My mom came down with the flu last Saturday, and she is just now getting over it. Because she was sick, she couldn't cook for Passover Seder that was last night. So she called my step-grandmother, Helen, to ask her to prepare and host the seder. Helen accepted and began cooking on Tuesday, and she cooked all day yesterday. My mom and stepdad were sick and didn't want to get everyone else sick, so they stayed home, and all of us kids had a lovely Seder with Helen and Laurie (aka Nana and Papa). I think it was the least negatively-eventful Seder we have ever had. There is always so much drama when we do family things, but the tension is lower when my Mom isn't there. I'm actually really glad of this, because Jeremy came with me. I really don't want him to see my mother explode or even just be irritable. At the last minute Helen and I finished cooking all the food, everybody showed up, we sat down, we did the service, and we ate dinner. Now that Rachael and Joey are growing up, we could have some pleasantly mature conversation (well, as mature as Papa could muster :)...).
The only problem that occured all night was when I had to put my foot down with Jeremy and spend several minutes convincing him that he was worrying about nothing. He was worried that he would make a bad impression with my grandparents by exposing his tatoo on his R forearm, because he forgot to wear a long sleeved shirt. He was going to buy an Ace bandage from the grocery store and wrap his arm so that they wouldn't see the tatoo. I thought it was silly, unnecessary, and would draw more attention to his arm than the tatoo would. He said that it was giving him a lot of anxiety and he was afraid that he would have a panic attack. But what good does it do him to pander to his anxiety and low self-esteem? The nature of this tatoo is not something that will cause people to think negatively of him. And facing the chance that people will see his tatoo and have it NOT affect their opinion of him will do more good for him. I pointed out that he hid the tatoo from me for a long time, and when I found out about it, it changed nothing. So I told him at the grocery store that I did not want him to buy the Ace bandage, and to just let his tatoo show. He said ok, because he wants to make me happy. And everything turned out ok at dinner, and he did not have a panic attack. I didn't yell, and I don't think I was mean, but I was foreceful. I was afraid that he would be mad at me after this argument, but he said he wasn't, and I just really want him to stop being so hard on himself. I know that his self-esteem is sometimes lacking and he has anxiety issues. I am not going into this relationship to change him, and I accept him the way he is, even if this doesn't change, but I would like it to change. I feel like it is my job to support his esteem and make him feel better about himself. And he just doesn't seem to know how great he is and how much he magnifies his flaws in his mind. Do you think it's wrong of me to push him to stop giving in to his anxiety? Am I totally off base? I don't want to be one of those over-bearing women like my mom.
I also need to know: Is it weird that I am so totally in love with him so soon? I feel like I have always had him in my life, and I can't imagine it without him anymore. In reality, not counting our first date last summer and all the time in between dates 1 and 2, we have only been dating for 2 months and 1 week. I have experienced infatuation. And I don't think this is infatuation, but I could be wrong. I have never had so much fun with one person doing anything and everything. I doesn't matter what we do together, it turns into an adventure. And I laugh all the time. We make silly faces and voices and think nothing of it. I have no emotional modesty with him. And I trust him completely. He gives me everything I have missed from every other major relationship, including with friends and family. I am the most beautiful, intelligent, and caring woman in the world when he is near me. And last night we had a very earnest conversation that for the first time included phrases like "when we get married," and "our kids." We talk about things we want to do together far off in the future. But it has only been two months. Am I crazy, or is this what it feels like to find your soulmate? Opinions please...and be honest.
My mom came down with the flu last Saturday, and she is just now getting over it. Because she was sick, she couldn't cook for Passover Seder that was last night. So she called my step-grandmother, Helen, to ask her to prepare and host the seder. Helen accepted and began cooking on Tuesday, and she cooked all day yesterday. My mom and stepdad were sick and didn't want to get everyone else sick, so they stayed home, and all of us kids had a lovely Seder with Helen and Laurie (aka Nana and Papa). I think it was the least negatively-eventful Seder we have ever had. There is always so much drama when we do family things, but the tension is lower when my Mom isn't there. I'm actually really glad of this, because Jeremy came with me. I really don't want him to see my mother explode or even just be irritable. At the last minute Helen and I finished cooking all the food, everybody showed up, we sat down, we did the service, and we ate dinner. Now that Rachael and Joey are growing up, we could have some pleasantly mature conversation (well, as mature as Papa could muster :)...).
The only problem that occured all night was when I had to put my foot down with Jeremy and spend several minutes convincing him that he was worrying about nothing. He was worried that he would make a bad impression with my grandparents by exposing his tatoo on his R forearm, because he forgot to wear a long sleeved shirt. He was going to buy an Ace bandage from the grocery store and wrap his arm so that they wouldn't see the tatoo. I thought it was silly, unnecessary, and would draw more attention to his arm than the tatoo would. He said that it was giving him a lot of anxiety and he was afraid that he would have a panic attack. But what good does it do him to pander to his anxiety and low self-esteem? The nature of this tatoo is not something that will cause people to think negatively of him. And facing the chance that people will see his tatoo and have it NOT affect their opinion of him will do more good for him. I pointed out that he hid the tatoo from me for a long time, and when I found out about it, it changed nothing. So I told him at the grocery store that I did not want him to buy the Ace bandage, and to just let his tatoo show. He said ok, because he wants to make me happy. And everything turned out ok at dinner, and he did not have a panic attack. I didn't yell, and I don't think I was mean, but I was foreceful. I was afraid that he would be mad at me after this argument, but he said he wasn't, and I just really want him to stop being so hard on himself. I know that his self-esteem is sometimes lacking and he has anxiety issues. I am not going into this relationship to change him, and I accept him the way he is, even if this doesn't change, but I would like it to change. I feel like it is my job to support his esteem and make him feel better about himself. And he just doesn't seem to know how great he is and how much he magnifies his flaws in his mind. Do you think it's wrong of me to push him to stop giving in to his anxiety? Am I totally off base? I don't want to be one of those over-bearing women like my mom.
I also need to know: Is it weird that I am so totally in love with him so soon? I feel like I have always had him in my life, and I can't imagine it without him anymore. In reality, not counting our first date last summer and all the time in between dates 1 and 2, we have only been dating for 2 months and 1 week. I have experienced infatuation. And I don't think this is infatuation, but I could be wrong. I have never had so much fun with one person doing anything and everything. I doesn't matter what we do together, it turns into an adventure. And I laugh all the time. We make silly faces and voices and think nothing of it. I have no emotional modesty with him. And I trust him completely. He gives me everything I have missed from every other major relationship, including with friends and family. I am the most beautiful, intelligent, and caring woman in the world when he is near me. And last night we had a very earnest conversation that for the first time included phrases like "when we get married," and "our kids." We talk about things we want to do together far off in the future. But it has only been two months. Am I crazy, or is this what it feels like to find your soulmate? Opinions please...and be honest.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
This weekend was long and crazy. I need a weekend to recoup from my weekend. I got my hair done on Friday. Stacy came over to Mitch's apt and cut and colored both of our hair. Now I'm strawberry blonde with basically the same cut. Mitch went black. Jeremy came with me and got to meet Mitch, Scott, and Stacy and Stacy's boyfriend Leo. And Mitch's friend Chris, and Chris's girls. It was like a party. And we were there kinda late. But it was fun.
Jeremy bought this 5 ft kite shaped like a biplane. We were going to go fly it yesterday before the wedding. But we wound up going to lunch with Mitch and Rachael at Pei Wei. And when we got to the park where the wedding was, there were too many trees in the park to fly it, so we didn't get to. I was really looking forward to that. I guess we'll have to go fly it next weekend. The wedding was kinda weird. Our old Rabbi from my synagogue, who was asked not so nicely to find another place to be a rabbi, was officiating. And the wedding was on a Saturday, but he didn't even wear a kippah or tallit (skullcap or prayer shawl). How un-rabbi-like of him. I can understand that it was a Jewish-Mormon wedding, but really, why would a rabbi not wear them? And there was no wedding canopy. Maybe I'm biased, but a lot of the Jewish wedding traditions are really un-offensive, why not include them? It was a beautiful day though. I had fun walking around the park before the wedding. And Jeremy and I went across the street to the farmer's market and looked at potted flowers. I'd like to fill my balcony with pretty flowers so that I'm more tempted to go sit out there. I found a lot that I like. Jeremy says he's going to buy them for me. :) He's always saying stuff like that. He's so cute. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't show up at my place with an armload of potted plants for me. He took the day off from work on Friday because he had a doctor's appt, and his doctor is in Irving. After he got out of his appt, he started texting me. It happened to be right when I was getting up and dressed. Then he texted "Well, I'm going to eat lunch." And the next one said, "Have you had lunch yet?" When I said no, the next text said, "Go open your door." And when I went to the front door, he was standing there! So he took me out to lunch with him. It was such a sweet surprise! I could go on and on about him.
Lately, especially yesterday, Jeremy and I have been talking about weddings. Especially what kind of wedding we (individually, but hinting at we together) would like to have. Indoor/outdoor, formal/informal, buffet/sit down, kinds of music, DJ or do-it-yourself DJ. And one of the couples from my synagogue who were at the wedding kept commenting on how cute we are together. Paulette kept hinting that we would probably be the next getting married. Who knows? It could happen. ;)
Jeremy bought this 5 ft kite shaped like a biplane. We were going to go fly it yesterday before the wedding. But we wound up going to lunch with Mitch and Rachael at Pei Wei. And when we got to the park where the wedding was, there were too many trees in the park to fly it, so we didn't get to. I was really looking forward to that. I guess we'll have to go fly it next weekend. The wedding was kinda weird. Our old Rabbi from my synagogue, who was asked not so nicely to find another place to be a rabbi, was officiating. And the wedding was on a Saturday, but he didn't even wear a kippah or tallit (skullcap or prayer shawl). How un-rabbi-like of him. I can understand that it was a Jewish-Mormon wedding, but really, why would a rabbi not wear them? And there was no wedding canopy. Maybe I'm biased, but a lot of the Jewish wedding traditions are really un-offensive, why not include them? It was a beautiful day though. I had fun walking around the park before the wedding. And Jeremy and I went across the street to the farmer's market and looked at potted flowers. I'd like to fill my balcony with pretty flowers so that I'm more tempted to go sit out there. I found a lot that I like. Jeremy says he's going to buy them for me. :) He's always saying stuff like that. He's so cute. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't show up at my place with an armload of potted plants for me. He took the day off from work on Friday because he had a doctor's appt, and his doctor is in Irving. After he got out of his appt, he started texting me. It happened to be right when I was getting up and dressed. Then he texted "Well, I'm going to eat lunch." And the next one said, "Have you had lunch yet?" When I said no, the next text said, "Go open your door." And when I went to the front door, he was standing there! So he took me out to lunch with him. It was such a sweet surprise! I could go on and on about him.
Lately, especially yesterday, Jeremy and I have been talking about weddings. Especially what kind of wedding we (individually, but hinting at we together) would like to have. Indoor/outdoor, formal/informal, buffet/sit down, kinds of music, DJ or do-it-yourself DJ. And one of the couples from my synagogue who were at the wedding kept commenting on how cute we are together. Paulette kept hinting that we would probably be the next getting married. Who knows? It could happen. ;)
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Today is the end of another week at work. It has been an absolutely fabulous work week. I have a new partner, Angie. Dory and she traded shifts because neither of them were happy with their partners (yes, that would include me.) Angie and I get along great. She is 38, so she is more mature than Dory, and we have great conversations. Our personalities are similar and so are our temperments. And we had students on two days this week, so that was good too. I have been under so much less stress. I actually enjoy my work again. So I guess my misery was the partner, not the job.
I am looking forward to this weekend so much. Every weekend with Jeremy has gotten better. Last weekend we went to his brother Jared's birthday party. I think it is so cool that his parents hang out with them and do fun things with them. The whole family, except the oldest brother, were there. I got to meet Jared's fiance's family. After we left, Jeremy told me that I was the most popular topic of conversation. Everyone loves me, but can you blame them? And while Jeremy has not yet said the L-word (which doesn't really bother me), he says things like "I have such strong feelings for you," and "With as strongly as we feel for each other, we should be able to overcome any relationship problems."
This weekend we are going to another wedding. My jewish friend Erin is marrying a Mormon. I found out about this two weeks ago. Mitch said that he would be the photographer, as a favor to Erin's mom Leslie. But I think Mitch is a little upset. This is the girl that he was hoping to marry. And now she is definitely off the market, and he's recording it in pictures. So sad.
I am looking forward to this weekend so much. Every weekend with Jeremy has gotten better. Last weekend we went to his brother Jared's birthday party. I think it is so cool that his parents hang out with them and do fun things with them. The whole family, except the oldest brother, were there. I got to meet Jared's fiance's family. After we left, Jeremy told me that I was the most popular topic of conversation. Everyone loves me, but can you blame them? And while Jeremy has not yet said the L-word (which doesn't really bother me), he says things like "I have such strong feelings for you," and "With as strongly as we feel for each other, we should be able to overcome any relationship problems."
This weekend we are going to another wedding. My jewish friend Erin is marrying a Mormon. I found out about this two weeks ago. Mitch said that he would be the photographer, as a favor to Erin's mom Leslie. But I think Mitch is a little upset. This is the girl that he was hoping to marry. And now she is definitely off the market, and he's recording it in pictures. So sad.
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