Well, if last week was crappy, then the weekend was oppositely wonderful. I got to spend almost the entire weekend with Jeremy. Friday night he came over for dinner again, and I made his favorite fish- grouper. His mom sent me her recipe and the spices she uses when she makes it. She also sent along some baklava, pita, hummus, and babaganush that she picked up when she went to lunch that day. The fish turned out wonderfully and so was the dessert we ate first. I think I have a new favorite fish. I really enjoy cooking with Jeremy (or rather FOR him. He says he's going to take up watching football while I cook.) We wound up staying up late into the night talking. Saturday morning his parents asked me to go along with them for breakfast. His mom basically spent the entire time telling me how happy she is that Jeremy and I are together. Jeremy was supposed to have to spend the day helping his mom with stuff, but she "released" him from this obligation and said he could spend the day with me instead. So we ran off into the sunshine and had to find things to do.

Jeremy showed me the house that his family owns and is renting out, and the carriage house on the back of the lot that he is going to fix up and move into this summer. It's only about 5 minutes from where I live. I'm super happy about that. Then we went to the FW Botanical gardens and walked around for a few hours. We went to the Japanese garden and fed the koi fish in their huge pond. It was great. Next weekend the Japanese garden is having a special presentation with Japanese performers and stuff. I am going to try to take Rachael and Joe to that if they let me. We saw a woman having her bridal photos done in the rose garden, and it got us to talking about Jeremy's brother Jared's wedding coming up in June and then about what we want at our weddings. We keep talking about the future. We want to go hiking together this summer, and I want him to come visit my dad with me this summer. We talk about going to see the botanical garden on Victoria island in Canada. We keep making plans; it's wonderful. After we had exhausted the Botanical gardens, we decided to go to the FW zoo. Jeremy had never been there, and I hadn't been since I was 8 or so. We wound up getting there about 2.5 hrs before it closed, but we managed to see the whole thing. I really am impressed with their setup. You can walk the whole zoo in a straight line and see everything. We had so much fun. I really love just being around him. There is always something to talk about. And I love being part of one of those really annoying, cute, cuddly couples who always hold hands and hug and kiss and share ice cream. Yep, that's me. And I am content.

I have been having such a crappy week at work so far. I've a lot of calls go bad this week, it's been busy and rainy, and I'm really not digging it. And on top of that, I am have increasing less patience and tolerance with my partner, Dory. She drives me absolutely nuts. It seems like everything she does annoys me. Her mannerisms and idiosyncrasies are like running your fingernails down a chalkboard over and over again for all eternity. I don't trust her to be able to do her job correctly and I can't seem to muster any respect for her. These are big problems for me. I spent an hour last night at the station after I got off work venting to my friend Sara about all the thing that drive me nuts. Sara is the only other person who has worked with Dory. Sara did her driving training and field training. She feels my pain.

I pray every day and ask God to make me a more tolerant person. I want to be able to like Dory. I try every day to be patient with her and curb the tone of my voice. I try to understand her shortcomings. The problem is that it isn't working. Every day I work with her I become more disgruntled and frustrated. I can wake up in the best mood, and as soon as I get to work and get on the ambulance I start getting mad about everything. I can't seem to be in a good mood until I get off the ambulance and away from her. And I even wind up taking out my bad mood on fire fighters and pts families. I get snappy and short with them. I get frustrated on scene with everything. And that is not right. I had a talk with my supervisor today, and he is going to look into an anger management class for me. I don't like being angry and pissed off all the time. And it only happens when I'm at work.

Have you ever met someone who just grates on your nerves so much that you can't stand being around him? That's how Dory is. And I don't think that she can do anything to make it so that she doesn't annoy me. That's what's bad. Her facial expressions annoy me. So does the tone of her voice, and her body language, and her constant invasion of my personal space. She has to touch my arm when she talks to me, and I hate that she calls me Lizzy. I've never hated anyone calling me Lizzy, but I want to yell at her not to call me that. But I don't; I put up with it. It is an intimate form of my name, and I only want people I like calling me Lizzy. Jeremy can call me Lizzy, Dory can't. I will have to put a stop to it. I hate that she expects me to entertain her at work, and that she gets bored and restless when we aren't running calls- BRING SOMETHING TO DO! And I want her to stop interrupting me from what I brought to do just because she is bored. It annoys me that she talks about all the stupid stuff that her dogs do, even though I have never shown an interest. "Oh my dog ran out in the rain and rolled around in the mud today! And I told my boyfriend that he'd better give her a bath! Haha!" And then she gets upset because I don't laugh. Maybe I'm just to practical. If I had a doggie door into the flooded back yard, I would put up a blocker in front of the doggie door on rainy days and not let the dogs in the backyard. I know, I talk about my cats like that too sometimes. But not every day. I say one or two things when I am first getting to know someone or when the subject of pets comes up. And then I stop, because I realize that not everyone is 5 yrs old and not everyone loves my cats the way that I do.

All this is really catching up with me today, and I don't know how to handle it anymore. Obviously Dory had something happen too with the supervisor today, I don't know what, but she is not talking to me today, and the supervisor brought her up when I was talking to him. Maybe she has been sensing my dislike. I don't know. But I am glad to have some quiet time today.

Sorry for the rant. And, no, I am not going off the deep end. But I am looking for a new shift and a new partner.

Jeremy asked me a couple of very important questions this weekend when we were together. No, he didn't propose yet; it is still a little early for that. But he asked me some important early-relationship questions. First he asked me to be his date to his brother's wedding in June. Yeah, I know it's not that big of a deal, after all, he went with me to David's wedding. But there is a greater time between now and the wedding than has elapsed already in our relationship. These are in actuality "long term" plans. He plans on still being around in 3 months. The wedding is probably on my birthday, and he said that he'd "make that up to me" if I had to go to this wedding on my birthday. Not that big of deal, spending my birthday at a wedding. Weddings do, after all, trump birthdays.

Later that night he asked me the dreaded "How do you feel about me?" How do you answer that? Of course, honestly, but how honestly? I went all out. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. I had to tell him that I love him. I think he was surprised. He asked me how much I had thought about that. I have thought about it a great deal. And it wasn't scary to tell him. He has every important quality that I look for in a man. And I trust him, respect him, and feel safe with him. I've never felt more comfortable around a boyfriend before. I can tell him anything, and he has told me many things about himself. I never feel silly around him. I actually feel like I have license to be as silly as I want. His answer was just as honest. He doesn't use the word "love" because it scares him. Every time he says love, something goes wrong. But all the implications of the L-word are there. I'm satisfied with that. It has, after all, only been two months. Not bad for two months though, huh?

Wouldn't you know that the first day in three weeks that I get a tablet at work that has internet access would be the day that the internet access company wide goes down. So I got my hopes up this morning that on my first break I would be able to update my blog, and by the time we have a chance to sit for a bit, we have no connection to any internet anything, including the CAD. But here I am, due to popular demand, updating my blog instead of sleeping.

Jeremy met my mom last Saturday. Mom invited us over to "help" make Hamantaschen (little triangular jelly-filled cookies to celebrate Purim). I asked Jeremy if he wanted to come along and get some cookies to take home. That way he could also get some experience with some Jewish holidays, which have been lacking in his family. Jeremy actually rearranged his schedule for Saturday night and moved his plans to Sunday so that he could come along. The poor thing, he was so nervous about meeting my mom and impressing her. I've never had a guy be nervous about making a good impression on my family. He even brought two different outfits to my place so that I could help him pick the better of the two. It went surprisingly well. Everyone was happy and well behaved, including the kids. Rachael was as witty as ever. And Jeremy likes them, so I can put my worries about my family embarrasing me for the moment.

I seem to find myself being one half of the most cutely annoying couple in the world. You know that couple that you see when you go out that look like they are glued to each other? They have to be touching at all times and stop right in your way so that they can grab a kiss? Yeah, that's me and Jeremy. I must say, we are quite disgusting. It's either hand holding or arms around the waist. We did this sort of thing all around IKEA, and as we know it gets more annoying in crowded places. But Jeremy had never been to IKEA before, and I have no idea how long we are going to be a disgustingly affectionate couple, so I didn't want to put off a trip to IKEA indefinitely. What's amazing is that Jeremy and I like all of the same things. Same styles, colors, themes, art. He told me that he likes to look at furniture with me. Hehe. It honestly felt like we were planning how we were going to furnish our house together, or almost like we were shopping for a registry. How is this happening so soon. It kinda scares the crap out of me that everything is going so perfectly and he fits everything I've always wanted, and we have so much random stuff in common, and we want the same kind of life and have the same goals. I keep waiting for the "THING" that is wrong with us being a couple. What is going to come along and ruin it all? There has always been something before? And it can't possibly stay this perfect forever. I know that for sure.

I'm sure I'll ramble on more about Jeremy later, but I can hear some of you vomiting in the background already. Can you imagine me as Elizabeth Julian? It's a good name, huh?

Things have been going really well with Jeremy. We have seen each other every weekend since the first dinner with the Mom. I have grown quite fond of him. He treats me very well, and he never lets me pay for anything. Oh, he did let me pay for a movie rental a couple of weeks ago. His mom still likes me and had invited me out to dinner the weekend before last. I found out that he is now going to school to get a degree in anthropology so he can get a job as a forensic osteologist.

Today is the first day that I have had a tablet at work that has a working internet connection on a day when I have had time to get on the internet. I really just have not had time to update when I've been at home, but then I haven't really been at home a whole lot. I have to cut this post short so I can run a call; I will try to continue my gushing over Jeremy later.